So last week I wrote two posts for my friend Sally and Andrea’s ‘Five in Five’ website (see previous post or here for most info on this ‘project). I decided to send one to them to be published (if they liked it), and the other one I didn’t send, but just posted on my own blog, because it was a bit too serious for their purposes. Or so I thought! You can imagine my astonishment, when, instead of publishing the post I’d sent them, they decided, instead, to steal the ‘serious’ post from my blog and post that one on their website instead.
Now not only did I feel a touch violated by this, but it has placed me in an awkward position. You see, I’ve thought of an idea for a new post, but it relies on a reference to something in the original, and still unpublished (buried, more like) post that I sent to them. The question is, what is the blogging etiquette in a situation like this. Whose ‘intellectual’ property is it? Am I allowed to publish the post anyway (thus allowing me to write and publish the post that flows from it), or do I need to wait for them to post it first? I mean, on the one hand it was kind of commissioned, but on the other hand, they stole a post that I hadn’t sent. What’s a girl to do?
Just post it, I guess.
It’s called ‘Doing it for the Kids’. It’s a bit silly (it was for charity, so I didn’t make that much of an effort), so if you decide you don’t want to finish it (spoiler alert) the thing I’m going to refer to in my next post is the made-up email address at the end, and, more specifically, the fact that it ends with ‘.con’.
Anyway, before the introduction ends up longer than the actual post, here it is…
I wish they’d had ‘Five in Five’ in my day (ie a few years ago). I’ve always needed a bit of help getting myself into relationships. When I was 18, a friend bet me 20 cents that I wouldn’t invite a particular girl out on a date (I’d been procrastinating for months). The very next day I made the call. Not only did I win 20 cents, but she said ‘yes’. And so began an almost 10 year relationship. Years later, I realised that this meant I had only really won 2c per year, which took the shine off things a bit.
When I moved to Melbourne, at the turn of the millennium, I again had to turn to outside help in the romantic sphere, and so employed the services of an amateur relationship coach, aka my good friend Ruth, to get myself off the bench and into the game. Every morning for years, I would walk to work via the café where she baristed (hey look, I coined a new verb), and have an informal motivation session/relationship debrief, over the best macchiato in town. She coached me into, and out of, a string of ill-fated entanglements, for which I am eternally grateful…I guess.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am full of admiration for friends who have been able to stay on the roller coaster ride that is internet dating, but many of us don’t have the motivation, the resilience or the constitution to cope well with the combination of adrenaline and nausea (not to mention rejection) that is involved. A lot of us need our friends to wield a bit of the old carrot and stick when it comes to ‘getting out there’.
So why am I telling you all this? Well, because it all goes to show the genius of ‘Five in Five’. Dating for charity, and getting your friends to provide the dates, is the perfect cocktail of carrot and stick (yummy!). Plus, it is all the ‘fun’ of dating, but none of the responsibility. The real clincher for me, though, is that it gives you a ‘get out of jail free’ card in the humiliating rejection stakes, because you’re not doing it for yourself, you’re doing it for the kids. I mean, even doing an audible fart in a lift full of models isn’t in the least bit humiliating, if you’re doing it for charity. Right?
That’s why, a few years ago, I decided to live my entire life for charity. In fact, I no longer call it my ‘life’, but refer to it as my Exist-a-thon ®. As a result of this, not only is my life now humiliation free, but, in addition, thousands of French cats no longer have to endure the bitter European winter without shoes.
I know this probably counts as cross-promotion, but if you’re interested in sponsoring me and helping out the wonderful ‘Chaussures pour les Chats Organisation’, go to www.existathon.con and click on the relevant links.